A Thousand Cuts
by TheAutisticDuo
Summary: poppy is a siren vault hunter who fights bandits and hyperion, but when she is caught in a love triangle between the vault hunters she has to make an epic choise... no bad reviews please


Hi, my name is Poppy and I'm a siren. Im a vault hunter too, and I love violence, killing bandits, and cute puppies that I also kill cuz I'm a crazy bitch I'm basically kinda like Harley Quin but the one from Suicide Squad. I was also in an abusive relationship once that I couldn't get out of it was a relationship with Handsome Jack the CEO of Hyperion. I was saved by Zer0 who is my best friend but I think he has a crush on me but I could never date him because I see him as like my brother or something also if I dated him then Mordecai and Axton would kill him because they're also madly in love with me and so is Lilith because she's bi (if you have a problem with bi people just leave)

So I was sitting in moxi's bar having a drink of hard liquor like vodka and stuff when Miranda the preppy judgmental bitch walks in with her ugly disgusting foul face. I hated Miranda because she was always super jealous of my good looks and always made fun of me for being a geek and a gamergurl x3. She came in jealous as always and looked at me with her two stupid fucking traitorous friends.

"hey poppy you're a fucking nerd"

I rolled my eyes at her and flipped up my middle finger, "at least u dont need a dog filter to be a bitch."

The entire bar clapped at my comeback and I smirked at her.

Miranda scoffed with her dumb face, "not my fault you're an ugly bitch."

I stood, fists clenched at my side and my siren eyes glowing. Thats when Moxxi stepped up and said, "Miranda you're the ugly one here your eyebrows are shit and you look like a fucking truck hit you twice"

Miranda and her two bitches ran out of the bar crying.

"Thanks Moxxi" I said.

"Your welcome sugar I always hated that bitch. You know I think I'm going to ban her from my bar forever and I'll talk to roland to see about her getting executed."

"That would be cool thanks"

I went out of moxxis bar and i didn't have to pay either because moxxi really liked me, and I put in my skull earphones and began listening to Gasoline by Halsey (that's my themesong). I walked into Vault Hunter HQ where Mordecai and Lilith were talking. They looked at me and blushed.

"oh poppy!" mordecai said and scratched the back of his head and blushed like those adorable guys in anime that have crushes.

"hi" I said broodinly.

"mordecai and me were talking about how there's a new BVB concert but theyre worried that like bandits will take over it and play their stupid preppy metallica which isnt even rock music?"

Anger fueled up inside me and I clenched my fists.

I. Hate. Bandits.

And now they were going to ruin an BVB concert by playing metallica that stupid preppy band?

"We have to stop them."

And so me and Lilith and Mordecai got into our technical that was painted black and red with skulls all over it and a few dank memes because girls can also be funny. We went to the concert and BVB was just gettin ready and a bunch of cool punk rock teens were there and so me and mordecai and lilith went to greet Andy biersack.

As soon as Andy saw me he was mesmerized by my beauty and he blushed, "oh hi you must be poopy?"

"ya"

"its so nice to meet u your so beautiful"

My heart raced but i had to keep my cool so i flipped my long ebony hair with red streaks in it and said "yeah thanks but im not."

"But u are!"

Lilith laughed and pushed andy biersack away and i knew she was getting jealous, "ok thats enough where are the bandits?"

That's when a giant squad of preppy loser bandits showed up blasting metalica from their cars and they smelled like cancer and aids and everyone hated them. The leader of the bandits looked at me and I gasped.

It was my ex boyfriend physco joe...

"yOU daTed a bandit?!" Lilith and mordecai scream at me.

I look on the ground with shade covering my eyes.

"Those were dark days..."

It was another one of my abusive relationships (I had three in all) and he was a mysoynist pig who only wanted to have sex and got mad when I beat him in halo and battlefield.

"I came here bcuz i knew u would be here poopy" joe said "i want u back if you dont take me back i will ruin your concert and kill bvb and play metallica"

"I don't like you anymore joe get over it." my siren tattooees glowed blue.

Andy Biersack and the rest of BVB pulled out their guns and got ready to fight back while Outsider played in the background. The bandits started shooting at BVB and flames burst from my hands.

"STOP IT!" I shot flames at the bandits, blowing up their technicals and killing all of them.

"YOU STUPID BITCH!" Joe screamed as he drove away in his car.

I smirked "thats what you get you mysoginist scumbag. I beat u in videogame gunfights and in real life gunfights."

he cried and drove away.

"you did it poopy you saved BVB" mordecais creamed and then... he kissed me...

I blushed...

lilith pulled him off of me "what the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

"I uh.." mordecai looked down on the floor.

Lilith was so protective of me and it made me blush.

"I love her, lilith!" Mordecai screamed.

Lilith screamed back "go love your bird pedo!"

Mordecai looked sad for the rest of the day, but we got autographs from BVB and we went back to Vault Hunter HQ in sanctuary.

It was nighttime and Lilith was asleep. I was out on the balcony taking a long drag of my cigarette and thinking about how much I hate that godforsaken planet when Mordecai sat down next to me.

"Hey..." he said "Sorry about earlier today..."

I put my cigarette down, "no problem... but is it true what you said? About loving me?"

Mordecai stared at me through his red goggles, his red contact lenses in his eyes were intense, "...Yes..."

My heart raced. My blood pulsed in my ears. It was then that I realized the man I truly loved was this bird-geek.

"You wanna have a sniping competition?" He asked me.

"Ya but I'm gonna win"

Mordecai laughed and blushed "No this time I'll win."

And so me and Mordecai went out to the dust.

We sat on top of the hills in the dust, shooting skag pups and spider ants below, and I was winning by a long shot.

"Wow, you're really good!" Mordecai said.

I shrugged, "Meh, not really." I was a humble person.

"No you are!" Mordecai said, "And also, because lilith isn't here..."

He pressed his lips against mine once again, and pushed me up against the rock. He put one hand under my shirt and unhooked my leather bra and began to touch my boob. It felt nice. His hand was warm and rough like our relationship. But we didn't notice Zer0 watching us from the distance...

(AN please leave only good reviews k thank you)


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